Still Not Back to Normal

Since I have been home and returned to work I have felt terrible. I don't know what is wrong with me but I am sleepy, have terrible migraines, and just want to slap people. That is all.

Bonus Parade

Savings & Loans issued the year end review/compensation calendar yesterday. I didn't see it until today and it made me so happy. Basically we get our money in July which means the end is near. I have an exact date, July 26, 2008. Exactly 85 calendar days away. August is mine!

Rejection

UCLA provided the first flat out rejection of the cycle. All the schools ranked above the Bruins either accepted me or place me on a waiting list. Since they took 4 months to respond they were out of the picture. But ladies and gentlemen that concludes my cycle. 3 acceptances, 2 waitlists, and 1 rejection. 

Savings & Loans

Returned to work today. Anywhere but there would be great. Definitely nauseous for most of the day. One coworker believes I am allergic to the building. Nigerian Princess believes she has contracted malaria. Meanwhile my manager has joined the Hate On Me club. He is now one of dozens of members, who eventually discover life sucks when you put so much energy into disliking another human being who has done you no wrong. 93 days until Freedom. 

Sunday Times

I am still recovering from my long journey across seas so I didn't go to work today. Instead, I spent the day washing clothes, shopping, and taking care of things I didn't do before I left. Anyway, the Sunday Times Magazine had some really interesting reads this week. You kids should check them out if you have some time.

http://www.nytimes.com/pages/magazine/index.html

Waitlisted at Harvard

Finally, found out while i was away that I have been waitlisted at the Big H. I guess that is far better than being rejected but it will still be a long summer. At this point, I am going to NYU but if Harvard calls I will definitely listen.

I'm Back

Sorry loyal subjects for the long abscence, I was gallavanting through foreign seas and lands. Anyway, it was a wonderful excursion and much needed break from Savings & Loans. Below are the some funny moments/ mundane events that made this trip memorable. Be warned some of the quotes or incidences you will not get. You had to be there. Luckily, Blue Jeans and the Spaniard were there so they should get a kick out of some of these stories.

London Gravitas
Our first interaction with a Brit was at Paddington as we tried to take the Tube to our hotel. We needed to purchase tickets so Blue Jeans inquired with the station attendant about getting a pass.

Blue  Jeans: Hi! I'd like to purchase 2 three day passes.

Station Attendant: Will you be traveling before 930?

Blue Jeans (after conversing with me. I had been on a plane for 7 hours so you know how that conversation went. Basically just buy the damn tickets and hurry up) : Probably.

Station Attendant: No Sir....Its a simple question. Will you be traveling before 930? (Emphasis added, including dry British accent.)

Needless to say I burst out laughing and realized we weren't in Kansas anymore. Oh, the Brits and their no holds barred approach to conversation. Gotta love it.

Mouthwatering Treats
The following was a post dinner conversation about the chocolates the restaurant provided. The humor in this lies in who said it. Sadly, the person requested anonymity but he/she will always know we had this moment.

King: I dont like it. Its too hard. I'd dont like hard things in my mouth.

Anonymous:  Well if its going to be in my mouth, I'd like it to be hard.

Brown Sauce
The second day in London started off with a bang. It was 8 in the morning and we are about to take the Tube to Picadilly Circus. As we entered  the train station Blue Jeans and I heard  this huge racket. For a second we thought we had  been transported back to home. Lo and behold its an African station attendant and African woman in the midst of a heated argument. All we hear is: You Shut  Up(British Accent). No, you Shut Up(thick British Accent) Ten times over.

Suddenly, the station attendant tired of this ridiculous back and forth rushes down the escaltor after the woman and launches what he believes to be the nastiest of all verbal attacks: YOU'RE A SAUCY WOMAN !!
BAHHHH!!!!
Please make it stop. I'm still laughing. He called her saucy. Is this the south in 1909? Nope, it is London 2008. What takes the cake is that these fools were arguing because the woman didn't say Cheerio or Top of the Morning. Only in London.

Otter. Look it up.

Hopeless American walks into an Italian restaurant near the Trevi Fountain whispering in broken Italian. The  Italian waitress disgusted with this woman's woeful attempt responds:   I speak English (Emphasis Added).

Silly Americans always trying too hard.

Blue Jeans should be slapped twice for this one. Everytime I think of this story my legs start to hurt. We get off the Tube at Covent Garden and surprisingly there are 5 elelvators located at the exit with a bunch of people waiting for them. Clearly a sign. Blue Jeans decides we should walk, "It will be faster" So we enter this cylindrical turret type of staircase. Think British castle. We literally ascend from the depths of Hell. We meet Cerberus and Hades along the way. By the time we reached the top we're covered in soot and years have passed by. Not really but you get the picture.Really wanted to slap a bitch.

Winning at this shady casino in London. You know I had to get it in. Definitely thought I was going to be cut if I left with any of my belongings including my teeth. We hurried out of there after I won playing roulette.

Random conversation between Blue Jeans and myself while at dinner in Paris reminiscing about Madrid. Be reminded Blue Jeans doest have an evil    sarcastic bone in his body.

King: He looked just like the Spaniard. Blue Jeans:  Yeah, if  the Spaniard gained 50lbs, had a beer belly, and wore a tight shirt.

So not the case. The guy def looks like the Spaniard and def wasn't fat nor did he have a tight shirt on. In fact it was a black sweater but two weeks with the King and suddenly Blue Jeans had mastered the malicious attack about those we meet. Classic.

While riding the subway in Paris this plump man enters a rather roomy train. However, he decides he is going to squeeze between the train door and this stylishly dressed Parisian man. So Fat Ass struggles to enter this space not meant for people while also reading his book. He beats the Parisian up trying to maneuver all his junk into the spot. The look of disgust on this man's face will forever be engrained in my memory.
Not only did he have ass rubbed all in his face but now his look was dishoveled. You all know that pain. Too funny.

Its NYU

I will be attending NYU Law in the Fall. That is all.

NYU says Show me the Money

So I got my Financial Aid package from NYU yesterday and they straight up laid the smack down. They basically said: "Son, we are your future and we are going to take complete advantage of the fact that you have very few options." So I have to pay $55k a year to attend America's number 5 law school. That's a whole lot of money. Some people won't see that in a lifetime better yet a year. Sadness. Hopefully, I win the lottery in the near future. If I don't, it will be a long time before I'm able to walk down Park Avenue humming the tune, I'm rich Bitch.

MJB is a Beast

Last night I attended the Heart of the City Tour. Mary and Jay did the damn thing. Jay has truly stepped his live performance game up. He stood out there for over an hour without a hype man and didn't lose me. I didn't realize Jay had so many hits but damn. Now Mary was on another level. She keeps getting better vocally and the way she ended her set was a statement in itself. Work That, Enough Cryin, Be Without You, and Just Fine. You couldn't have picked a better way for her to go out. Plus she performed some rare classics like Sweet Thing. Altogether Mary solidified her status as the Queen of the hood.

A Typical Email Conversation at Savings & Loans

From: Nigerian Princes
To: FrontOffice Girl; King
Subject: omg

YuMatch (really culturally awkward girl who has been known to sport matching hat & sweater combos usually seen on three year olds. Important note: she typically wears that hat indoors not to mention it has one of those balls on it) is wearing a top I would wear out on a Saturday night!! Veryyyyy scandalous!

From: King
To: Nigerian Princess; FrontOffice Girl
Subject: RE: omg

LMAO. Poor girl probably doesn't know any better although she has been living in the US for a while now.

From: FrontOffice Girl
To: King; Nigerian Princess
Subject: RE: omg

She has?

From: King
To: FrontOffice Girl ; Nigerian Princess
Subject: RE: omg

Yeah, at least all of college. That's 4 years right there.

From: FrontOffice Girl
To: King; Nigerian Princess
Subject: RE: omg

Haha I was kidding. Had we not been locked up at the same penitentiary (Savings & Loans), I would think she just arrived in a shipping cargo labeled "Sweaters"...

Africa

Today, I made the comment that I was proud to be an American. To support my opinion I asserted that it is the only country where a black man can become leader of the free world. The Nigerian Princess responded with yet another classic line: "Don't forget that tiny country, Africa, where black men rule the land. " Pure hilarity.

The Hell With All that Rubbish

When Estelle drops her album remember I hipped you'll to this chick. Her new single American Boy is fire. Anyway, here is a live version of it courtesy of the BBC and thatgrapejuice.net

Estelle - 'American Boy' (Live)
by ThatGrapeJuice

Moment of Truth

I am truly loving this show. Its basically my life in hour long capsules. The questions are clearly intended to hurt people's feelings and make them uncomfortable. In fact, it ruins lives. However, I think the truth will set you free so in the end its better that it all comes out. If someone has been cheating, they need to be aired out. If someone sucks in bed they need to know they can do better. Its nothing like pouring a little peroxide on that wound. So people suck it up and learn to be the Truth like me.

Waitlisted at Duke

For serious? Don't pay for me to apply to your school and then waitlist me. It is not a good look. I don't want to sit around and wait for you to decide you might want me to come over for dinner. Duke please. I have people dying to break bread with me. LOL. But seriously, I was willing to take a chance on Duke and try out the South. They just weren't truly willing to to take a complete chance on me. To each his own.

Worst Week Ever

This was the Worst Week Ever at Savings & Loans. The following email highlights the ridiculousness I have to deal with on a daily basis. This is the message I got after making a mistake by not sending what we would consider an immaterial amount of money less than $100,000 to a foreign counterpart. Please be reminded that it was not actual dollars involved but corporate bookkeeping numbers. Meaning they were going to get credit for the transaction just not in February but March because or my error.

Email message:
This is frankly "UNACCEPTABLE". We do our work well and so we should be entitle for "at least" proper transfer. What is FINCON's responsibility here ? Who failed ? Someone should be accountable for this ... it is just too easy to say "next month" ........ Could you please be more careful and ensure our job is recognized via transfer as it should be ?

I think I am going to hold myself accountable and make sure to leave Savings & Loans as soon as that bonus check is deposited in my account. Ugh, I hate that place.

Law School Update

For all those interested parties I have not selected an institution to attend as of this blog posting. I am still waiting to be rejected by the Big H before I wholly commit myself to that fine institution in NYC. Hopefully, I hear back soon because I really would like to make plans. Until then kids sit tight and wish for the best.

Goals

A coworker wrote in an email: What are goals?

I responded: Goals are what you had before you started working here.

Law School Humor

Poster: 2manyapps
I received an email from South Carolina law stating that, "You may have recently received an invitation to a Merit Scholars Reception. Unfortunately, this was sent to you in error...I realize that this may have caused you some anxiety and we apologize sincerely for any confusion our error may have caused. As an admitted student, you should feel proud of all you have accomplished and know that you were chosen from a very select group of applicants."

I have an LSAT that is double digits above their median and a GPA that is well above it also. I had no intention of going here (safety school) but cannot figure the above out. You would think they would find a 1k scholarship or something to "save face" and avoid sending me the above ridiculous email.

Reply: Rudygay

Send them an email saying you are going to attend.. then send them another email saying that you sent the first one in error and that they should feel very proud of the people who are going to attend their law school, but that you will not be attending at this time.

Pure hilarity.

Rome

This weekend I spent so much time trying to find a hotel in Rome to stay in during my trip to Europe. Let's just say it was beyond difficult. As royalty I have specific standards that must be met before I will even consider a place of lodging. I am not very picky but I do prefer cleanliness and an overall welcoming attitude. For some reason a lot of the hotels in Rome appear to be lacking in one or the other category. $300 a night hotels were in terrible neighborhoods or were lacking in the facilities department. For $300 a night I would expect to at least have a bathroom that works and a bed that isn't made of rocks. Anyway, I finally found the Crowne Plaza in Rome for a somewhat reasonable price. The added bonus though is they have four tennis courts which means I will finally get to play on a clay court. So excited. 42 days to go.