Beheading

Offender: Dirty Birds aka Philadelphia Eagles fans
Offense: Drunk Disorderly Conduct

Today I went to the Eagles vs. Bears game. Two words: Ugly people. I don't think I have encountered a more homely gathering of individuals. Most Eagles' fans haven't met a beer they didn't greet with wet welcoming lips. They alcohol didn't help their already limited reasoning abilities. Who sits on the concrete floor of a stadium and literally eats food off said floor like its being served on Wedgwood China? Yet, those Dirty Birds didn't lack the propensity to launch insults at a 6 year old girl attending her first NFL game and more than pleased to see her uncle on the field. Shame on you Eagles fans.

Sentence: A Bath.