If Law Schools Were People We Dated

Below is a sample of law schools personified as possible love interests as posted on one of the boards I frequent. Too funny.

Notre Dame: Notre Dame is that ugly girl who thinks she is the shit. Every time I talk to her she reminds me she has a boyfriend and goes out of her way to act disinterested even though the first time we hung we were both drunk at a party and she told me she thought I was “really f-ing hot.” One of my friends told me she called me a “creep.” Screw you Notre Dame. I don’t even know why I was interested in the first place. -IDEK

Harvard: She's cute, she's smart, she dresses well, she's interesting, and you know she's going to have a good future. Of course, she lives in a terribly expensive neighborhood: one you aren't sure you can afford. She has a bad reputation with your friends. You just aren't sure how you feel about her... She always seems to date the same kind of guys: 6 feet tall and worth a few million. She likes the numbers. You'd rather be with her friends, the ones who are always dating the guys who might be a little bit uglier but are always doing really interesting things: saving the rain forest, curing cancer, helping AIDS orphans in Africa... You want to be one of those guys instead. But you now the odds are low, so you comfort yourself that with a bit of work you'll have the numbers that Harvard likes so much... -malena

NYU: She’s cool. She’s hip, and she loves her indie rock. She knows all the coolest bars, and (though she’d never admit it) she has expensive tastes. She drives to protests to save the world and end capitalism (in her dad’s Audi), and she rolls her eyes whenever you order meat at a restaurant. You become a vegetarian, she buys you new clothes and you feel cooler than ever… until you realize you don’t like the hip bars or the tight jeans, and you still can’t remember which band is which. She was everything you wanted to be… until you realize you hated being cool. You switch back to your old baggy jeans, t-shirts, and call up your old buddies to watch football and skip the protest. She stops calling and you don’t seem to mind. -chris0805