Beheading

Offender: WebMD
Offense: Scaring the Hell out of Me

So today I had this really funny feeling in the back of my throat (insert vulgar sexual comment here). Seriously, plus these little off-white balls kept developing in my mouth (insert crude comment here). So I type in my symptoms and WebMD and these fools tell me I might have cancer. I read all the literature they provide and my symptoms do match what they describe. So you know I am about to lose it. I am far too young to have cancer. I really don't wanna die. So to make a long story short I type the same symptoms into google and get the real cause of my illness. Apparently, the balls are the result of my tonsils releasing dead cells. Its a common problem that affects millions of Americans. Didn't that just sound like a pharmaceutical commerical or a political ad? Anyway, I am fine and WebMD needs to be immediately removed from the internet before they cause a fragile person unlike myself to cause bodily harm to themselves from their ridiculous suggested diagnosis.