Beheading

Offender: Subway Riders
Offense: Assault

Every morning I have to deal with the same thing. Pushy old people forcing themselves into overcrowded trains to make it to work. Everyday I have to see someone get elbowed in the stomach or have someone's forearm placed against their throat all in the name of arriving to work before 9am. The fact of the matter is your job will be there if you get their at 905 or 855. Trains run every 4 minutes. There is no need to make a fool of yourself by getting stuck in between the closing doors of the train. I must admit its pure comedy for me unless you happen to touch me. Oh, and don't think just because its crowded you can "mistakenly" touch me in those dark places. I will definitely cut a b*tch.

Punishment: Riding the train for the next month smashed against the door with some 300 pound beast's belly against your man junk, some old ladies cheap perfume placed right below your knows, and one of those hobos who won't shut up discussing all the things that are wrong with this country right next to you.