Sunday, October 12, 2008

This Blog Is Dead

Its been real people but its time to say goodbye. We had a good run. Who knew we would have so much fun along the way? We knighted a few individuals and sadly had to behead a significant number of the populace. With law and order restored its time for me to abrogate my crown and make a decent living as an advocate for the rich and well-connected. If anyone would like to assume my worldly title they are more than welcome.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Love, Need, and Want You

Sorry for the lack of posts. I have been internetless for the past couple of days while at home and let's just say it hasn't been fun. Anyway, listen to Love, Need, and Wand You in the interim. It will ease your soul until I make a reappearance.

Thursday, August 28, 2008


Offense: TWI (Talking While Ignorant)
Offender: Red-headed girl in my Section

Girl shutup! You have no clue of what you're talking about. Stop using all those legal terms that you clearly have no grasp of either their meaning or application. Its Day 2 no one expects you to be Matlock. Let somebody else answer a question. We don't care what you did this past summer. Unless you graduated from law school and passed the bar its really not relevant. Maybe you should spend less time participating in class and more time reading the actually cases. In the interim, SHUTUP!

Punishment: You can only answer a question if you have some exceptional knowledge about the matter.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON. Did you happen to see the speech my girl gave the other night? I mean really. Did she kick in the door or what? Below are my personal highlights:

And you haven’t worked so hard over the last 18 months, or endured the last eight years, to suffer through more failed leadership.
No way. No how. No McCain.

John McCain says the economy is fundamentally sound. John McCain doesn’t think that 47 million people without health insurance is a crisis. John McCain wants to privatize Social Security. And in 2008, he still thinks it’s okay when women don’t earn equal pay for equal work.

With an agenda like that, it makes sense that George Bush and John McCain will be together next week in the Twin Cities. Because these days they’re awfully hard to tell apart.

When she invoked Harriet Tubman it was over:

By following the example of a brave New Yorker , a woman who risked her life to shepherd slaves along the Underground Railroad.

And on that path to freedom, Harriett Tubman had one piece of advice.
If you hear the dogs, keep going.
If you see the torches in the woods, keep going.
If they're shouting after you, keep going.
Don't ever stop. Keep going.
If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.

NYU Law School

Sorry that I have been MIA over the past week but a little thing called law school just occupied my entire life. Seriously, these people are not playing. They truly expect you to live, breath, eat, sleep, wear, be, reenact, suffer, and praise the LAW. My body is already suffering from carrying those heavy ass textbooks to and from class.
Anyway, Sunday was our first day of orientation which largely consisted of a Scavenger Hunt in the West Village on a hot and humid day typical of August in NYC. It was really a time for each of us to get to know 8 of the 90 people in our section. The jury is still out on whether or not these people are of going to join the Royal Court. In so many ways, there has been a lot of Vanilla and far too little Chocolate, Strawberry, or even Butter Pecan.
Over the past two days nothing too exciting has gone down. I made a Royal entrance to class today, which means I was late and really wasn't a good look. However, I redeemed myself by answering a question that was well received and which a classmate later stated: "You sounded really smart."
Basically, what I am saying is I am happy. The work is interesting so far and quite manageable in my opinion. Hopefully, I meet more people and find a group of friends of royal stature.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Offense: Grand Larceny
Offender: Crackhead(s)

Crackhead striks again. Apparently crackheads nine lives. Although beheaded a little over month again they are back to their same game. This time they robbed my mother who was silly enough to leave her doors unlocked. The booty from this break in included changed valued at $5 and a an Ipod. They really hit the jackpot. I bet somebody in my neighborhood is walking around with my mother's Ipod I purchased with the following engraving: To Mom From King. Too funny.

Punishment: An old school beat down.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Got the Class Schedule

NYU sent the 1L sections out today and I am now one of the 90 proud members of Section 2. My schedule pretty much sucks because I have class at 9 everyday of the week. Its like having a job again. I left Corporate America for the laid back atmosphere of school and already its turning out to be the opposite. Not really, but you get the point. Oh, Law school classes last 1 hour and 50 minutes. Good Lord that's a lot of time to listen to one person talk. Let's hope for my sake that the topics and the professors are interesting. Anyway, I only have four classes and one of them is Pass/Fail so it shouldn't be to0 bad. This school thing is really happening.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

We Da' Best

I love the Olympics. The Men's Freestyle Relay was ridiculous. After France talked all this trash about how they were going to smash the US, they lost. The French actually came in second to the Americans. Phelps can still when 8 gold and the French along with the rest of the world just learned a fine lesson: Never count us out cuz we da' best.

Dirty Birds Pt.2

Many of you may remember my first visit to Philly. Think drunk obnoxious football fans yelling at a 7 year old supporting her uncle who played for the away team. Anyway, this time around I guess I got to meet the better heeled Philadelphia resident. Definitely not that impressive but also didn't have to cut anybody. The main reason for my visit was to meet up with my former ND buddies: Candy & Terry. Those two haven't changed one bit. Candy still loves her sweets and Terry is still living in her own world. There is nothing like being around people you know all to well. It was almost like we never even left each other. Good times.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Without Further Ado

Dear King:

The Admissions Committee has determined that it will not be possible to offer you admission to Harvard Law School. We greatly appreciate that you kept your application available for possible consideration. If you perform at a high level at another law school in your first year and continue to be interested in Harvard Law School, we welcome your application for a transfer. Transfer application forms will be available in mid-April 2009.

Thank you for your patience and for your interest in Harvard Law School.

Toby W. Stock
Assistant Dean for Admissions

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Check Out the New Countdown

I'm always counting my money, how many times you have worn those jeans with that t-shirt and those same ugly sneakers, or my LSAT score. So the countdown will now be a fixture of the blog. Look to the right.

Some People

So tonight I was craving some Popeye's Fried Chicken. I know, so hood, but whatever. That ish tastes so good. Anyway, I order my 8 pieces of MILD chicken which consisted of: 3 breasts, 3 thighs, 1 wing, and 1 leg. Oh, a side of mashed potatoes with gravy, cole slaw, and 5 biscuits. No, I wasn't being an FA. The food was for me and the rents. After I order, you know I stalked the counter to ensure the wonderful people who work at America's fine fast food establishments don't mess up my order. Lo and behold, I notice this fool is intentionally putting Spicy Chicken in my box. Everyone, and I mean everyone knows I despise spicy food. Hell in my mouth is not what I call appetizing but I digress. So this jerk brings the box of Spicy Chicken over and calls out my number.

Me: What kind of chicken is THAT? Is that Mild? (*Imagine the voice I use when I am annoyed, know I am right, and am going to prove my point.*)
Popeye: Yes, its Mild.
Popeye: Yes, its mild.
Me: Ok, so what kind of chicken is that over there? (*Pointing to the right. Everyone knows they keep the spicy chicken way off in Hades to the right*) That's Spicy right?
Ms. Popeye: Yeah, that's Spicy over there.
Me: Didn't you just get that chicken from over there? (*Giving Popeye that look that only someone who has pissed me off can enjoy.*)
Popeye: Yeah, we didn't have any more Mild wings.
Me: AND? I don't eat SPICY. You BETTER put something else in that box and it BETTER not be Spicy.

So Popeye snatches the box and replaces the Spicy chicken with Mild chicken. He acts like he was doing me a favor after I not only caught him messing up my order but lying to a customer. He is lucky he still has a job and I was too hungry to say the words every fast food employee hates to hear: CAN I TALK TO THE MANAGER?

Our takeaways: Pay careful attention when frequenting fast food establishments. Don't mess with me and my chicken.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Move On

Why is it every time I discuss law school with someone the following question arises: Have you heard anything from Harvard? Actually, I haven't. I've moved on and so should you. LOL. I have already rented an apartment and spotted out my favorite spots to eat. Dreams of daily trips to SOHO are in my head not traveling or moving to Boston. Yes, it would have been great if I got admitted off the waitlist. However, I didn't. So can we talk about NYU? A top 10 law school in the world's greatest city. Going forward ask me about my plans for NYU not about Harvard. Thanks!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Singles Only

So I have started to explore my neighborhood, rated the the #1 City for Singles in America,and come to the following conclusions: Everyone here exercises and the percentage of hot well dressed people to hot messes is a lot higher than most cities. I must admit that the fact that everyone exercises doesn't necessarily mean everyone is fit. Trust me, I have seen some Oompa Loompas calling themselves jogging. However, it does provide the inspiration to go for that three mile run or to do those extra pushups. Nigerian Princess says its just another sign of my manorexia. Hopefully, one of those singles on the street likes her men with a slight eating disorder. Just jokes. Anyway, the hotness quotient is definitely a good thing on the eyes. Plus, it makes me strive to do better. To eat better, dress better, and even to try to smell better. I'll keep you posted on whether this leads to to more weekday afternoon unemployed trysts.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Unemployed is the New Employed

Anyone sending me an email at work will recieve the following Out of Office message:

Please direct all communication to Liza as I am no longer an employee of Savings & Loans, effective July 25, 2008.

That was it. I sent the following quote as a farewell to my coworkers:

Even when someone battles hard, there is an equal portion for one who lingers behind, and in the same honor are held both the coward and the brave man; the idle man and he who has done much meet death alike. Homer, The Iliad

I still can't believe its all over. The day I wanted, wished, and oh so impatiently waited for finally came. Its a relief to know that I will not be suffering anymore. At the same time, its sad because I am going to miss a number of my coworkers, who were literally some of the funniest people I have ever met. I am so excited because in less than a month, August 24th, I will start orientation for NYU Law. I am not sure what I am going to do with my month off but I won't be posting journal entries or arguing with European counterparts on the phone. I think I am really going to enjoy being unemployed.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Deadliest Catch

Have you guys seen this show? Who knew people died so I could eat crabs? Rather sad. Anyway, great show. Check it out on Discovery.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Look at the Countdown

Definitely did no work today. We laughed and joked all day via email. Took an hour and 15 minute lunch which began with Nigerian Princess commenting on the local avian population:

These pigeons got a lot of attitude. They just be like get out of my way (as she proceeded to walk like a bird).

I couldn't stop laughing. I am going to miss my coworkers.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

You Get One

The comments about my weight are getting out of control. Yesterday, "When are you going to start eating?" The other day, "You really are looking a little emaciated." The fact is I weigh what some one my height is supposed to. I know is not often you see healthy individuals but I am what a lot of the commentators should be striving for. So yeah, the next person who has a comment better watch out because I am coming for them. Someone has to be made an example of because this out of pocketness isn't going to work.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Royal Appearance

As you can tell b my countdown the King has really little time left at Savings & Loans. In less than 10 days he will have a lot of free time and not much to do between July and August 25th. If you live in a warm climate and would like the King to make an appearance leave a note. Let's be very clear: Those living in the Midwest and South please don't respond. I am not coming to Iowa and am definitely not coming to South Carolina. I guess that leaves residents of Florida, California, Nevada, and possibly Arizona. Scratch Arizona, I think Phoenix might be a little too hot for my tastes. Seriously lets do a trip somewhere and have a reunion.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Below is the transcript of my conversation with Email Gangsta stating that I would be leaving Savings & Loans. Note his overall lack of concern When you have obnoxious aggressive emails to send out, I guess you really don't have time to discuss important issues with your subordinates.

Knock on the door.

Me: I just sent the file you requested.
EG: Yup, I am looking at it right now.
Me: Do you have a second?
EG: Sure.

Close door.

Me: I just wanted to let you know earlier today I submitted my letter or
resignation to the FA Program Director.
EG: Ok.
Me: (Shocked at the no reaction) My last day will be July 25th.
EG: Ok.

Silent Pause.

EG: So what are you going to do?
Me: I am going to NYU law school in the fall. Everything is squared away
and I am ready to go.
EG: Ok.
Me: Ok.

Exit office.