LSAT Countdown No More

The big day is tomorrow. I am ready. That is all.

Typical Conversation The Past Few Days

Wow, the LSAT is (insert number) days away. I feel (insert synonym for anxious) about what is to come. I have been studying like (insert typical cliché for hard work) and do feel prepared. The rest of my life will be determined by (insert expletive rant) masquerading as an exam. Yet, I am at peace. I have accepted my (insert doomsday like phrase) fate. Wish me luck.

Birds & Butterflies

Today I had the chance to talk to my roommate from college. If you don't remember, I beheaded him a couple of months ago. Well, astonishingly, he has risen from the dead. In fact he is on the Continent living it up. This fool is having a great time living in Madrid while I'm living in NYC stuck counting. He said its not all birds & butterflies but is sure as hell sounds like to me. I honestly like to take a survey of everyone from my graduating class to see how they feel about their post grad lives. I wonder how many people are content with their lives, careers, or new schools.

LSAT Countdown

3 Days to Go Until the LSAT. I spent all day today reading about my chances of getting into a top 15 school. Its pretty much clear none of these fools on the message boards I frequent know what they're are talking about. It was good way to act like I was preparing for the LSAT without actually expending much effort. At this point, I feel like I am in a good place. I am not nervous or stressed. I just want it to be over so then I can move on and worry about what score I got. Then if I will get accepted to my top schools. Anything to distract me from the suckiness that is counting.

LSAT Countdown

4 days to go. Today I read in article that was both shocking and encouraging about what lies ahead. Apparently, in 2004 only 108 African Americans scored a 165 or better on the LSAT. Can you believe that? 108. That's kind of sad considering a couple thousand take the test. I know African Americans typically score 10 points lower on the test than whites but damn. At the same time, I think in 2007 I can be one of the 100 receiving a score of 165 or better. Let's hope so.

LSAT Countdown

5 Days to Go. I have decided I am going to Work That on the LSAT. 180 here I come. LOL. If I got a 180 it would be over. I mean really over. So not going to happen but I am feeling good right now. On a much sadder not I have to go back to damn counting tomorrow. No more holiday shortened work days. Plus, the end of the month is looming, which means a lot of counting. Ugh! Somebody save me.

LSAT Countdown

7 days until the LSAT. One week to go people. Yes, the day of reckoning is soon upon us. Hopefully, after next Saturday this blog can go back to be a cutting, sharp, biting aspect of your daily routine. Its sad but when you spend hours reading about embryo polarity its really hard to have an opinion about anything. But don't worry all that anger and frustration is pent up. So it has to come out at some point, which probably means a significant increase in the number of beheadings in these parts.

Work That Part 2

As many of my loyal subjects know music defines our kingdom. We live, we breath, we eat, we sleep music. It is what gets us through an arduous day of counting or brings clarity to a wonderful day like today. Many of you also know that for over the past two years one song, Take Me as I Am, has been our anthem. It has been the song we rose two, walked to class to, ate lunch to, and even went to bed to. With this one song MJB put into words what we believe is essential to a happy life: you have to love and accept yourself. However, you listen to a song over 500 times and it starts to lose its impact. It doesn't lose its meaning but it just doesn't provoke or inspire as much of a reaction as it did the first 200 times you heard it. So although many of you never thought this day would come I am removing Take Me As I Am from our daily playlist. Instead, will be rocking to Work That. In many ways Work That is Take Me As I Am on steroids. Its much less somber in tone but has the same message. It says you have to love yourself but you also have to more. You have to go out and live for you. Mary said it best.

I just want to be MYSELF
That's right just be YOURSELF

Let them get mad,
They gon' hate anyway
Don't you get that
Doesn't matter if you go along with their plans
They will never be Happy
Cuz their not happy with THEMSELVES

WORK WHAT YOU GOT

I am talking about things that I KNOW
Its okay to show yourself some LOVE
Don't worry about who's saying what
It going to be hard but work with what you GOT

WORK THAT! WORK THAT! DON'T HOLD BACK!

LSAT Countdown

9 Days Until the LSAT. I took a Practice test today and got a 163. Once, again I encountered a really tough Logic Games section. I got 9 questions wrong out of 22. Damn!!!! I know. Its so sad but I am used to it at this point. But I will keep pressing on so I can be doing it big in Law School in a year or two.

Happy Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you had as good a day as I had. The wait to eat was a little extended today but it was definitely worth the wait. My Grandmother definitely put it down. The food was so good. Like most Thanksgivings I had minimal turkey but more than enough lamb, candied yams, and baked macaroni and cheese. I give thanks for great food. I don't give thanks for the fact that I will be counting tomorrow. Yes, on Black Friday, which is like a national holiday for a shopaholic like me, I will be stuck doing damn Excel shortcuts. Oh, counting why are you so cruel to me?

Thanksgiving Eve

Tonight like everything Thanksgiving for the past 15 years I spent in the kitchen. That's right the king took some time to go into the kitchen and put in work. I made cakes with my grandmother like I do ever year. We made them from scratch, no Betty Crocker cake in a box action over hear. All muscle, eggs, sugar, and baking flour. Yes, I do have blisters now but those cakes are going to be so good tomorrow.

LSAT Countdown

10 Days until the LSAT. Today, I was a light day of studying I really need a break. Its kind of tough dealing with counting and studying on a daily basis. So tonight we shall chock up to a mental health day.

Work That! I'm Talking About Things That I Know

LSAT Countdown

11 days to go. At this point I am really suffering from burn out. I don't want to read another random question about some rare species of flowers in the North Pole. December 1 cannot come fast enough. Even though I am tired I am going to stick to my studying because I really need to get a good score. The alternative is to spend the rest of my life counting, which could be a very lucrative alternative. Yet, I know I will not be happy or at the least content counting much longer. So LSAT you have proven yourself to be a tough opponent but you forget one thing I run this thing. So I am coming for you. I have to get hyped some way.

LSAT Countdown

The LSAT is only 12 days away. Am I ready? I am not sure. My practice scores are all over the place so I don't have anything to fall back on. None of the scores have been abysmal but at the same time they are not consistent. So I just have to hope for the best and keep studying. In these next two weeks I will be focusing on Logical Reasoning. As I have noted Logic Games is a crap shoot. However, with enough heavy lifting I can get at least 3-4 more LR questions right. At this point the difference is in the little things. One question could be the difference between Top 25 Law School and being stuck counting for the rest of my life. Altogether, I am going to be prepared for this test.

As You Are Is Not Good Enough

I just got the opportunity to sit down and listen to Alicia Keys' new album, As I Am . Sadly, I am not impressed. I was hoping with this being her third album that it would be her first "complete" and cohesive work. However, the album is marred by lackluster production and what I consider vocal ventriloquy. So many of the songs sound alike and are just boring. At the same time, on most songs Keys sounds like she is attempting to imitate or channel other great artists' vocals. She really needs to find her own voice. Even the remake of Tears of a Clown comes off as uninspiring and just a lazy reproduction. For me this album is a total disappointment and the people fawning over her because Clive deemed it so need to go sit down.

Queens of the NIght

After an awful day of counting I had to turn to two Queens, Mary J. Blige and my mother. I went to dinner with my mom and we talked about my terrible day. Then I listened to Mary and everything seemed right again. In case you were interested in the MJB playlist that saves lives its listed below.

No More Drama
My Life
Take Me As I Am
Press On
Just Fine

WASHINGTON, DC -- After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock trafficcommuting to and from their jobs, millions of Americans were disheartened to learn that it was, in fact, only Tuesday.

"Tuesday?" San Diego resident Doris Wagner said. "How in the hell is it still Tuesday?"

Tuesday's arrival stunned a nation still recovering from the nightmarish slog that was Monday, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going to end and others to ask what was taking Friday so goddamn long.

"Ugh," said Wagner, echoing a national sense of frustration over it not even being Wednesday at the very least.

According to suddenly depressed sources, the feeling that this week may
in fact last forever was further compounded by the thought of all the work left to be done tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and, if Americans make it that far, possibly even Friday, for Christ's sake.

Fears that the week could actually be going backwards were also expressed.

"Not only do Americans have most of Tuesday morning to contend with, but all of Tuesday afternoon and then Tuesday night," National Labor Relations Board spokesman David Prynn said. "If our calculations are correct, there is a chance we are in effect closer to last weekend than the one coming up."

Added Prynn: "Fuck."

Reports that this all has to be some kind of sick joke had not been confirmed as of press time.

Isolated attempts to make the day go faster, such as glancing at watches or clocks every other minute, compulsively checking e-mail, hiding in the office bathroom, fidgeting, or reading a boring magazine while sitting in the waiting room, have also all proven unsuccessful, sources report.

The National Institute of Standards and Technology, which oversees the official time of the United States, has flatly denied slowing or otherwise tampering with the progression of time.

Labor Secretary Elaine Chao released a statement addressing widespread speculation that it might as well be Monday for all anyone cares.

"We understand this day has been tough on many of you, what with meetings mercilessly dragging on and an entire stack of files still left to organize," Chao's statement read in part. "Yet we urge Americans to
show patience. The midweek hump is just around the corner, and we have strong reason to believe that Saturday will be here before you know it."

"Go about your lives as best you can," the statement continued. "Do not, we repeat, do not take a sick day, as it'll make the rest of the week that much harder to endure."

In the meantime, citizens are doing their best to cope with the
interminable week, though Tuesday is still hours away from ending.

"The more I try to speed it along, the longer it almost seems to take," said Dale Bouchard, a Chicago-based broker who has been waiting for today to be over since it first began earlier this morning. "Honestly, today could not have come at a worse time this week."

In the meantime, the latest wristwatch consultations indicate that it is somehow still Tuesday, if that makes any sense at all.

New Feature

I am introducing a new feature to the Blog, Knighting. I am going to start giving worldly titles to those individuals and things that make me happy. Can you, a pleb, be on of those knights? Unequivocally, Maybe. But be on the lookout.

Turn Down the AC

This weekend I made another silly trip to Atlantic City. Of course, I paid homage to the Romans by losing all my hard earned money at Caesar's Palace. Nice place. Thanks for the free shrimp. But seriously, I have to be the most dense person around. I don't seem to get that there is no money to be made in gambling. So I haplessly lose hundreds if not thousands of dollars on each vist. Today, I decied enough is enough. No more Atlantic City for me. I have sworn off the place for at least the next three months. Hopefully, I can use the saved funds to better myself.

Do Not Solicit

Please don't solicit royal guidance if you're not going to take it seriously. Please don't ask me a question and then get upset when I tell you the answer. Please don't request that I show you to how to do a particular task only to tell me that's not how it should be done. Please, if you know so much act on it. Oh, and please don't come back to me twenty minutes later telling me I was actually right about whatever you asked about. Of course I was right.

Beheading

Offender: Fellow Commuter
Offense: Emitting Noxious Fumes

We get it, you're a banker. We get it, you make a lot of money. We also get that you can afford Gucci Loafers and bespoke Saville Row Suits. We get that all your banker friends can do the same. What we don't get is your need to put the enitre 6:00 pm PATH train on notice. We don't get why the whole subway platform needs to be masked in the scent of musk, cigarettes, and your nasty banker sweat. Its quite likely you believe your are doing us a favor letting us take in all the greatness that is douchebag banker in. But seriously, you stink. That customizable scent your golddigging girlfriend gave you is whack and smells like shit. So do us all a favor tomorrow and go easy on the cologne jerk.

Sentence: Spending a day on an alfalfa farm shoveling horse shit.

Counting Enough is Enough

Counting I was willing to accept your selfishness. I was willing to accept the unfulfilled dreams and wasted potential. I was willing to accept the long hours and seemingly pitiful compensation. I was even willing to accept the unrelenting stress and rude colleagues. But counting now you have gone to damn far. Now you have taken away the one thing I could always count on. You have usurped the one thing that seperated me from the rest. You have reduced me to nothing. You have taken away my pride in one small swoop. You have in fact made me chubby. That's right people I have what many might consider a spare tire slowly developing. I am fat. Now counting will involve keeping track of my caloric intake. Counting you truly do suck.

Clients Are Idiots

Read this post. I thought it was pure hilarity. Hopefully, you will too. Those of you without jobs, dirty plebs that you are, might not find it to amusing but when you obtain employment you will get the joke.

My first year of law school, and hopefully beyond: Clients Are Idiots

Beheading

Offender: Phil Simms & Jim Nantz
Offense: Impersonating Rational Beings

Hey Jim! Hey Phil! Guess what? Calling a football game is not an opportunity to demonstrate what attending public school might be like. JK. But seriously guys, you suck. I don't think you could be more unflappable in you ability to distort what is actually happening in the game you are calling. Jim you're the play-by-play guy. Your only job is to get the player name and yards gained correct. Yeah, we actually expect you to match the number on the jersey you see on the field with number and name on the sheet right in front of your fat stupid face. Yet, we don't expect you to explain to us how a particular defensive scheme works. You acting as if you're knowledgeable about football equates to Amy Winehouse describing what its like to be sober. Phil you're the commentator. That means you need to commentate. Do you need someone to explain to you what that entails? Peyton Manning completed that pass because he saw the Patriots were in a Flex-Cover 2 rather than Man coverage is commentating. Stating, "Peyton is good. He is really good" merely makes you appear even more inane than the drunk losers at the bar watching the game. I really would like to know how these two idiots got be the number one team on CBS. It must be some type of affirmative action policy for dummies.

Sentence: Cleaning the Locker Room of the dirtiest scummiest team in the NFL, the aforementioned Dirty Birds, the Philadelphia Eagles.

Beheading

Offender: Savings & Loans CEO
Offense: Miscounting


Counting is not what its cracked up to be. The work environment is characterized by high pressure, fast pace, and unreliable fellow counters. Yet, that is why head counters get paid the big bucks. Depositors actually expect the count to be right. So when you lose billions of dollars in a single quarter depositors get a little antsy. They actually start calling for your head. They start to question your ability to count. And you know what they say, "If you can't count ...." IDK but you get the point. Ultimately, the King has to give the people what they want. So Savings & Loans CEO you can say you're resigning but you have been fired. Get you sh*t and get out.

Sentence: Counting your hundred million dollar severance package, you lucky b*tch.

LSAT Update

Guess What? I scored a 171 on a practice LSAT today. That's right plebs I pimped the LSAT. I know you're asking yourself how did he do it. Well, I actually answered most of the Logic Games Section correctly. So the 8-9 questions that I have not been able to answer I was able to. Basically,my score on the LSAT will largely be determined by what Logic Games appear on the test. If they are easy I get the score I want. If they are difficult, I won't. It is as simple as that. Its good to know I have the score I want in me.

Royal Demands

Yesterday King was on the phone with a friend when King stated the following:

"I really don't have time for people who want to think for themselves. Just do what I tell you to do."

The aforementioned friend thought said comment was absolutely comical and possibly indicative of a lack of social training.

So in the spirit of having a little fun I would like my five faithful readers (you know who you are) to complete the statement listed below:

King does not have time for people who want to think for themselves because _____________________.