Monday, October 22, 2007

Readership and Interest in RexRegnat Grows

Apparently my loyal subjects are starting to enjoy the blog. Some subjects are so enthused they have sent special email requests:

Can you please do a feature on a certain girl who insists on cleaning her teeth in public as though it were socially acceptable and prances around the work place talking hella loud and with toothbrush/toothpaste in hand?? Pleaseeee

As king not only do I say and do I want but I also make dreams come true. So to that loyal reader/subject wish granted.

That certain colleague, who we will shall refer to as FrontOfficeGirl, despises her current occupation. She believes a career in counting far beneath the Ivy League education her mommy and daddy paid so much for. Thus, FrontOfficeGirl spends her day belittling the counting of her coworkers and lamenting the fact that she works in the special type of counting firm glorified in national folklore, the Investment Bank, while not being an actual banker or trader. She can often be heard across the floor at a fellow counter's desk spewing the following: "WE ARE BACK OFFICE. THIS IS NOT WHERE I SEE MYSELFFFFF." I know where
FrontOfficeGirl might end up if she doesn't cease and desist her rampant complaining in front of her manager's office and my counting table, the UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.

Besides bashing her chosen profession, FrontOfficeGirl also spends an enumerable amount of time obsessing over her dentes (Teeth). The blog's title is Latin. Come on. At lunch, she can be found rubbing her teeth with a napkin while follow counters attempt to enjoy their food. At least three times a day you can find FrontOfficeGirl in the ladies room brushing her teeth. Who brushes their teeth in a disgusting public restroom? I barely want to relieve myself in said water closets, so there is no way I am putting anything in my mouth when I do visit one. Plus, who knows if US Senator Larry Craig has made a visit to that bathroom or not? After she brushes, FrontOfficeGirl loves to make a show of the fact that she has just brushed her teeth by displaying her nasty toothbrush on her counting table. To my amazement the brush is left uncovered and on top of important work documents. Can anyone say unprofessional? How do you count at a table with a bacteria incubator shouting your name? Oh, the things you non royals do.

The list could go on about FrontOfficeGirl's behavior but we only have so much time in our day to devote to plebs. At any rate, FrontOfficeGirl we issue you a stark reminder: Teeth with cavities are never saved. They are almost always removed.

3 comments:

Michelle Clayborne said...

HA! A mess.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

haha so true!!
i got crazy ppl here brushing their teeth in the restroom...
now come on, its bad enough that ppl take a dump in there, but ppl gotta brush their teeth and floss religiously too in that stench. thats just nasty.
lol